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Pass the tequila

My hip feels great. It’s not even three weeks since the surgery and I’m about 95% back to normal, except it’s better than normal because I don’t have the crazy hip pain anymore. I actually went grocery shopping today pain free. It’s absolutely amazing.

Went to my herb guy, Majid, on Wednesday. He said I’m 50% better overall than when I first went to see him a month and a half ago. He also said that my ph balance is good and the hormones look good and if we want to start trying to get pregnant again we can. I’m trying to decide what level of commitment I’m up for…do I start the lovenox? Do I go back to acupuncture? I have to say it was pretty great this month just knowing I was not pregnant. No tests, no wondering, no counting days, no contemplating due dates. I was simply not crazy this month. It was a nice respite.

I think this month we should not try to get pregnant, but at the same time not try not to. This is what my sister-in-law did and guess what, she’s pregnant. My friend with the new baby suggests drinking more. She, as well as many people she’s talked to, were evidently really drunk when they conceived. It sounds counter-intuitive (and somewhat harmful) but maybe it’s worth a try. I’ve tried everything else.

I have my next lyme dr. appointment next Sunday on November 8th. I recently read the most up-to-date information regarding lyme and pregnancy and the concensus is that I have to be on antibiotics the entire pregnancy or risk passing lyme to the baby which can cause several problems which include everything from heart, brain and lung damage to death. So I guess I’ll be on antibiotics either until I have a baby or reach meopause. Great.

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Not

Blood test was negative.

I thought I was doing ok until I had a total meltdown in the pharmacy when they didn’t have my prescription ready. The doctor called last week to say it was approved so when I went to pick it up and the pharm said it wasn’t approved AGAIN (the third time), and I had to pay for the medicine with my own money AGAIN (the second time) and this time it was TWICE as much (for something that should be covered), I totally lost my shit. I yelled, I cried, I even cursed.

Then I had to go to the grocery store and the whole time I’m driving my cart I’m thinking how I have to move to a small town where people don’t beg for money outside the store, where people don’t get sick and where women get pregnant if they want to. While I’m driving home in traffic I’m thinking how I just can’t deal anymore. And when the neighbor dog starts barking at me (as it’s done non-stop, day and night, since the neighbor went on vacation three days ago) I tried to kill it with my eyes. And I love dogs.

It’s too crazy. This whole thing is making me totally insane.